


love is a high (we feelin' alive)

by jaemsung



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Domestic, Drunken Shenanigans, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Recreational Drug Use, lots of smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-12 23:57:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18020957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaemsung/pseuds/jaemsung
Summary: Donghyuck was hardly surprised when he walked into the kitchen and saw Mark, teary-eyed, struggling to fit bread into the toaster.Donghyuck sighed, his shoulders slumping as he took a step closer, “what's wrong?”“I just want some toast,” Mark sniffled out, tears dripping down his face.





	love is a high (we feelin' alive)

**Author's Note:**

> /heavily/ based off of why'd you only call me when you're high by Arctic

Donghyuck had a problem.

Ever since he was in middle school, he had been looking forward to college. He didn’t really care about the whole studying thing, he was just excited for the entire experience. Staying up late to finish work, going out to frat parties, and hooking up with random strangers just because it was college and he could.

So on the first day of school, he pulled up in his u-haul, practically bouncing into his dorm because he had been looking forward to this for _so long._ He was excited to have study groups in the library at weird hours of the night and to eat bad food because he was broke, but most of all he was so excited to meet his roommate.

But his poor childhood dreams were crushed when he found out his roommate was none other than Mark Lee.

Now don’t get him wrong, there was nothing wrong with Mark per se, if you ignored the perfect hair, shining teeth and _blinding_ smile. The issue with Mark was that Donghyuck had a crush on him, a long heartbreaking crush that had left him pining after Mark for most of elementary school and all of high school.

Donghyuck thought that college was going to be his opportunity to hoe around and finally get over his insufferable crush on Mark, but that was going to be a little bit difficult if the boy literally slept three feet away from him.

Surprisingly, his crush wasn’t the problem. The problem was that perfect little Mark Lee had a habit of coming home high. Donghyuck understood that Mark obviously needed to relieve the stress and pressures of his _obviously_ hard life, but it became a problem when he was always coming back to their apartment stoned or drunk off his ass. Donghyuck always had to help Mark back into bed, he always had to clean up after his messes and listen to Mark ramble about nonsensical things.

Mark was _very_ talkative when he was wasted, but when he sobered up he never said a word to Donghyuck. Outside of a quiet apology or a “thank you,” he had never once had an actual conversation with Donghyuck when he was sober. They had been roommates for two years, yet they had never truly spoken.

Donghyuck knew everything about Mark from the older’s near-constant ramblings about his life when he was high off his ass, but Mark knew _nothing,_ about Donghyuck. And that was the problem. Donghyuck felt like he was just there to clean up after Mark, to make sure that no one else knew that perfect little Mark Lee was secretly a stoner with slightly alcoholic tendencies.

Donghyuck was in the midst of _trying_ (keyword: trying) to sleep, and once his eyes had finally started to get heavy, he heard the telltale sound of his phone ringing on his bedside table, the vibrations almost knocking his plastic water bottle right onto the ground.

Groaning, Donghyuck turned on his side and glowered at the angry glare of his much too bright phone screen. He really didn’t want to deal with Mark today, he had already been through enough. He had hurt his wrist while working on his painting, and he had gotten oil acrylics on his favourite silk shirt. To top his shitty day off, on his way home he stepped in dog shit. In his _favourite_ Christian Louboutins. He was having a _very_ shitty day (pun not intended), and he was _not_ in the mood to be Mark’s maid.

He let Mark call him four times before Donghyuck let his stupid empathy get the best of him and he swung his arm onto the bedside table, picking up his phone and letting it rest on the side of his face.

“Hyuckkkkk,” Mark’s squeaky voice rang through the speaker, making Donghyuck wince and knock the device off his face entirely.

“What is it, Mark?” Donghyuck snapped, internally chiding himself for being so rude.

“Jeez dude, hop off, what’s got you so tight?” Mark said, his relaxed voice irritating Donghyuck.

 _You’re one to talk,_ Hyuck thought, but didn’t dare say, “Mark, it’s three in the morning, where the fuck are you?”

“I don’t even know bro,” Mark laughed slightly, making Donghyuck sit up and anxiously run a hand through his hair.

“Send me your location.” Donghyuck massaged his temples.

“I fuckin’ love that song,” Mark giggled, making Donghyuck physically intake so that he wouldn’t hang up right then and there.

Once he got Mark to send him his location, Donghyuck sent an Uber for him, partly because he was concerned for Mark’s wellbeing, but not worried enough - since he was still pissed about being woken up so early - to actually get him himself.

After a couple deep breaths, Donghyuck finally felt his eyelids getting heavy again, but then God himself decided that _nahhhhhh sleep is for losers_ , because right then, the front door slammed open.

“Hyuckkkkkk,” Mark whined from what he assumed was the entryway, and Donghyuck was planning on ignoring the plea for attention, but once he heard a faint sniffle followed by the sound of crying, he gave in, a dramatic sigh leaving his lips as he threw the bedsheets off with a flourish.

He was hardly surprised when he found Mark crying on the ground, a cut on his face while he struggled to untie his shoes.

“Hyuck, the entire world is against me,” Mark said, looking up at Hyuck with sad eyes.

The irritation trickled away as Donghyuck gave Mark a small smile and crouched down, “And why is that?”

“I can’t get these stupid shoes off! I’m going to end up like the white kids that wear their shoes in bed! I _can’t_ handle that Hyuck, please help,” Mark pouted, choking up at the end. And the plea was so ridiculous that Hyuck couldn’t help but roll his eyes and fully sit down, reaching out to untie Mark’s shoes for him.

“Come on let’s go get you cleaned up,” Hyuck said calmly as he helped Mark up and half-carried him to the bathroom.

High school Donghyuck would be jumping for the chance to be this close to Mark, but College Donghyuck was _very_ over it. He had been much closer to Mark. He had been the one to undress Mark when he accidentally vomited on his new sweatshirt, he had cuddled with Mark late at night when Mark was crying about school, _hell_ he had even _kissed_ Mark a couple of times, but that’s not what he wanted. He wanted to be the one Mark talked to about his day when he got home, or the one Mark bought extra takeout for during finals week, or even just the one that Mark waved to in the hallways. But instead, he was the one Mark used to take care of his messes.

Donghyuck’s heart twisted painfully in his chest as he sat Mark down and started cleaning up the wounds on his face. Mark was so beautiful and so close, yet _so_ out of reach. He wanted them to be a couple, _fuck_ he wanted them to be _friends_ but Mark didn’t think about Donghyuck in that way. At least not when he was sober.

“Why’d you only call me when you’re high?” Donghyuck sighed out, the weight lifting off his chest as the words left his tongue.

Mark, still high as hell, looked confused so Donghyuck kept talking, _I might as well get it all out now,_ “You never talk to me when you’re sober. You only call me when you need help getting home or when you’ve had too much to drink, you never ask me how I am, or how my day was. I told you last night that I have to be up in the morning but you obviously didn’t listen,” Hyuck sighed, not letting his anger get the best of him.

“You’re starting to bore me, baby,” Donghyuck mumbled as he gently caressed Mark’s cheek, _stupid fucking crush_. He knew he wouldn’t be able to do these things, or say these things when Mark was sober so he might as well make the best of it, _not like Mark was going to remember anyway_ , “Why do you only call me when you’re high?”

Mark merely blinked in response, and Donghyuck knew not to expect anything better so he gave Mark a small smile and helped him up.

“Goodnight Mark,” Donghyuck said as he opened Mark’s bedroom door, “I would say talk to you tomorrow, but I know you won’t.”

“Goodnight,” Mark quietly said as Donghyuck closed the door.

 

***

 

Mark _also_ had a problem.

Other than his obvious abuse of marijuana and alcohol, there was another issue in his life. His issue was none other than Lee Donghyuck.

The sun spot of the school, who had a smile for everyone and a hug for anyone who needed it. Mark knew that Donghhyuck was quieter at home, that he silently watched sappy romance movies, whispering to the characters whenever they did something stupid.

Donghyuck was a gem, in every sense of the word. He was always there for Mark, and while Mark didn’t remember half the things he did when he was blackout drunk or high beyond cognitive thought, he hadn’t scared off Donghyuck _yet_. No matter what Mark did Donghyuck was always there with a slice of toast and a glass of ginger ale since he claimed they could cure any hangover.

He didn’t even blink an eye when Mark kissed him on New Years for the first time. Mark had gotten drunk and the week before he had broken up with his boyfriend of three years, so to say that he was emotionally sensitive was a gross understatement.

When Mark kissed him, Donghyuck didn’t look surprised and he kissed back after a couple seconds of shock.

Though Mark didn't notice the tears gathering in Donghyuck’s eyes as he retreated to the bathrooms.

There were three other times Mark kissed Donghyuck. Once in the bathrooms at school when Mark was crying too loudly and needed something-- or rather someone, to shut up him up and make him forget about his problems. Once when both him and Donghyuck had gotten drunk at some frat party and wanted to forget about their problems. And once when Mark had crawled into Donghyuck’s arms late at night, reeking of cheap beer and weed, kissing Donghyuck until he fell asleep because once again, he wanted to forget about his problems.

He found solace in Donghyuck, since the younger boy was so calming and easy to be around. The taste of Donghyuck’s cherry chapstick had a way of calming Mark down that easily beat out any high he could reach. He made Mark forget about all his problems but when Mark woke up the next morning after coming home covered in open wounds, he realised he had a problem.

 _Why’d you only call me when you’re high?_ Mark distinctively remembered that question spilled from Donghyuck’s cherry lips late at night as he patched Mark back together again.

As his alarm continued blaring, Mark realised that he had never had a full conversation with Donghyuck when he was sober.

“Will you turn that thing off?!” Donghyuck burst into the room with a flourish and an angry look decorating his face.

Mark looked up at Donghyuck in a daze, soaking up how truly beautiful Donghyuck was in the mornings when he was still in his pajamas drying his damp hair with a fluffy white towel.

“Right, sorry.” Mark shook himself out of his never-ending thoughts of praise and scrambled to turn off his alarm.

“It’s whatever,” Donghyuck rolled his eyes and turned to leave.

“Wait!” Mark called making Donghyuck look over his shoulder at the boy, “Don't you have to be somewhere early today?”

Donghyuck scoffed, “now you remember?”

“Huh?” Mark furrowed his eyebrows in confusion before he remembered that _he_ was the reason Donghyuck had to stay up late last night and that _he_ was the reason behind the bags under Donghyuck’s sparkling eyes.

“Shit, I’m sorry.” Mark threw off his sheets and walked over to where Donghyuck was stood in the doorway, the younger turning to face him.

“Like I said, it’s whatever.” Donghyuck blinked.

“No no, not just that. I’m sorry about everything. I’m sorry I’ve been treating you so poorly,” Mark started, “I didn't realise I was using you like that…”

“Mark,” Donghyuck’s shoulders slumped as he took a step forward, only to be cut off by Mark.

“No, Hyuck, it wasn't right of me to treat you like that- only calling you when I needed your help and never talking to you after,” Mark said.

“Yeah...kind of a dick move,” Donghyuck joked, making mark breathe out a laugh.

“Let me make it up to you?” Mark looked up at Donghyuck with an anticipation and hope in his eyes that Donghyuck just couldn't say no to.

“Yeah sure fine,” Donghyuck breathed out with a sigh and a slight smile on his face.

Mark took a deep breath in, “Can I take you out on a date tonight?”

The wind blew in from the open window, pushing the blind side, catching the surprised glint in Donghyuck’s oh so perfectly. “Yeah,” Donghyuck responded, his eyes still wide and his lips still slightly parted in shock.

“Great,” Mark gave Donghyuck a smile.

“Cool,” Donghyuck sighed and smile back.

“Cool,” Mark echoed, making Donghyuck roll his eyes.

“God, we sound like awkward teenagers in a coming of age movie,” He drawled, “Go get ready for class. Oh! You never finished your essay last night, so good luck with that.” Donghyuck offered Mark a smile as the older jumped out of his daze and ran to his still open laptop.

“Shit,” Mark groaned.

“Yeah, I’ll leave it to you.” Donghyuck grimaced as he stepped back into the doorway.

“Yeah okay,” Mark sighed, “but tonight I’m taking you out, okay? I need something to get me through this day.” He said the last bit under his breath, but Donghyuck still heard it as he closed the white wooden door with a knowing smile.

 

***

 

“Fuck,” Mark groaned as he sunk further into the couch. It had been an impossibly long and _hard_ day. The pounding hangover coupled with his few hours of sleep, really didn't mix well once finish his essay and sit for a three-hour lecture. All Mark wanted to do was sleep during that stupid fucking lecture but he cared too much about his grades so he focused as hard as he could and took down all the notes he could manage.

Now, all he wanted to do was sleep, but he had a date with Donghyuck.

Not that he was complaining or anything, he had been looking forward to the date since Donghyuck had agreed but right now he couldn't help the way his eyes slid shut.

“ _Fuck,”_ Donghyuck sighed as he collapsed onto the couch next to Mark, his eyebrows twisted in pain and frustration.

“Rough day?” Mark let his head lull to the side as he gave Donghyuck an amused look.

“I feel like my brain is trying to squeeze its way out of my eyes.” Donghyuck grimaced, “but you don't look much better.”

Mark breathed out a laugh at that, letting his eyes slide shut again.

“Do you wanna take a raincheck for tonight?” Donghyuck asked.

“No, I wanna take you out,” Mark mumbled.

“On a date, not with a gun,” Mark corrected making Donghyuck laugh slightly.

“Where do you wanna go?” Donghyuck asked, trying (and failing) to hide his eagerness and excitement to finally go on a date with Mark.

“Since we’re both like dying and shit, what if we just drive to the overlook and watch the sunset? I could bring snacks and we could smoke a little. You know, to help the headaches.”

Donghyuck smiled before turning to look at Mark, “I’d like that.”

And that’s how Donghyuck found himself sitting on Mark’s trunk, resting back on his hands as they watched the sunset. The radio was playing some slow music from inside the music, but Donghyuck didn't really care (not that he couldn't hear it very well anyway) how could he care about something trivial like music when Mark’s fingers were on Donghyuck’s lips as the younger took a drag from his joint.

“ ‘s pretty,” Donghyuck hummed when he pulled away, hugging his knees into his chest and resting his cheek on his arm as he looked out at the sunset.

“You’re pretty,” maybe it was the weed that made Mark confident but words that he usually wouldn't say we're spilling from his lips. Not that he didn't mean them, he would just be too scared to say them without the much needed high.

“You’re just saying that because you’re high,” Donghyuck rolled his eyes, and Mark liked to think that the blush on Donghyuck’s cheeks was real, but it might have just been his mind fucking with him.

“Nope, I mean it,” Mark grinned as he turned to face Donghyuck, the younger humming in response.

Mark frowned, “now it’s your turn,”

“Hm?” Donghyuck raised his head and gave Mark a confused look.

“Your turn to compliment me,” Mark said with a cheeky grin.

Donghyuck rolled his eyes once again, sighing out, though he couldn't help the smile that rose to his face, “You’re really pretty too Mark.”

“Mhmm,” Mark closed his eyes and slowly nodded before scooching closer, “what’s your favourite part about me?”

Donghyuck’s eyes widened, glancing down at Mark’s slightly parted lips before making eye contact, “your...eyes.”

And Mark knew that was bullshit, he didn't miss the way Donghyuck’s eyes flickered down to his lips.

Mark smiled, reaching out and gently brushing the skin of Donghyuck’s jaw, so feather-light that Donghyuck might’ve missed it if he wasn't so hyper-focused on Mark’s every move.

“My favourite part of you would have to be…” Mark said, his eyes half-lidded and trained on Donghyuck’s pouty lips, as he slowly leaned in, “your lips.”

Mark pressed a chaste kiss on Donghyuck’s waiting lips, before pulling away. Donghyuck’s eyes furrowed in frustration as he got onto his knees and wrapped his arms around Mark’s neck, dragging him back until their lips crashed together.

“Ouch,” Mark winced from the force, but he wasn't really complaining as Donghyuck thread his fingers into the older’s hair, pulling him closer.

Donghyuck’s lip’s still tasted like that _damned_ cherry chapstick, but Mark was _still_ in love with the taste. He licked into Donghyuck’s mouth, drawing a sigh from Donghyuck's _beautiful_ lips as the younger tugged slightly on Mark’s hair.

Mark pulled away and Donghyuck was about to whine, but he went quiet the second Mark put the joint to his lips, taking in a long drag before slotting their lips together again. _Did he just shotgun me?_ Donghyuck thought as white smoke curled into their lips. But he was _far_ from complaining. The smoke only made Donghyuck melt against Mark’s hold, his heart soaring higher as Mark pulled him flush against his chest.

“Stop pulling away,” Donghyuck whined when Mark separated his lips from the younger's once again. Mark merely grinned before attaching his lips to Hyuck’s jawline. He pressed a kiss into the skin, and he was about to leave another, when the wind blew particularly hard, making Mark laugh against Donghyuck’s neck.

“It’s fucking cold,” Donghyuck groaned, resting back on his hands as Mark pulled away.

“The car?” Mark asked as he pulled out his keys, twirling them around the tip of his finger.

Donghyuck nodded, hopping off the trunk, as Mark did the same. It took Mark a second to unlock the car since his hands weren't exactly listening to him, but for just a moment he thought he had ruined the mood. With that gust of wind and Mark’s fumbling hands, you think that the heat of the moment would've been gone, but  _boy_ would you be wrong.

The second Mark managed to get the back door open, Donghyuck was pushing him into the car. The older hit the cool leather of the backseat, a grin on his face as Donghyuck climbed over him and slot their lips together with the same passion and intensity as the time before. 

And who on earth knew what was fueling this kiss? Maybe it was because Mark just loved the feeling of Donghyuck’s lips on his own, or maybe it was because Donghyuck was thrilled to know that he wasn't just _Donghyuck_ the boy who cleaned up after Mark, that he was _Donghyuck_ the boy that mark took out on a date _._ He might’ve had his doubts before but as Mark’s teeth were nibbling at his lip, pulling it out and letting it ping back before he was surging back in to kiss him again, sucking at the stinging spot in apology before deepening the kiss, he was certain. 

He knew that the way Mark’s hands found their way under Donghyuck’s shirt, cold fingers rubbing circles into hs skin, was his way of apologising for being unfair. He knew that the way Mark softly groaned when Donghyuck straddled him, (the pressure on his crotch was way too much for Mark’s far too high mind) was his way of thanking Donghyuck for giving him a second chance.

The position they were in was a bit uncomfortable but neither of them really cared, because Mark made Donghyuck feel _so_ good and Mark was in love with the feel of Donghyuck on him.

And they kissed until the windows fogged up.

And _then_  when the fog started to clear Mark lit another joint and they smoked until the windows were fogged up once again.

“Hey, hey, Hyuck.” Mark giggled as he tapped the younger on the shoulder.

“Hmm?” Donghyuck hummed as he spun around to look at Mark. He expected to see Mark there grinning like an idiot, about to tell a stupid joke or something like that, but what he did not expect to see was something written on the window.

 _“I like you.”_ written messy and big in the fog of the window.

Donghyuck blinked a couple of times before turning to his window and writing, _“I like you too.”_

Mark’s grin brightened before he went back to his window, writing another message before giving Donghyuck a hopeful smile.

_“Do you wanna be my boyfriend?”_

 Donghyuck breathed out a laugh before writing in his window, _“of course.”_

“Fuck, really?” Mark gasped, a dorky smile on his face as he covered his mouth in surprise.

Donghyuck simply rolled his eyes and pulled Mark in for another kiss.

Mark tasted like cheap beer and he smelled like weed but Donghyuck didn't care, because it was Mark.

 _Mark_ his _boyfriend._

 

***

 

You’d think that now that Mark and Donghyuck were dating, Donghyuck’s “problem” would’ve been solved.

And while part of the problem _was_ solved, Mark was a simple man who sucked at shaking bad habits.

So at three am, he came stumbling into the kitchen, waking Donghyuck up with his cries like _clockwork._

Donghyuck let out a sigh as he got up, not bothering to throw on a shirt as he left the comforts of his bedroom. Part of him was concerned that Mark might’ve injured himself or that he was in some sort of excruciating pain, so he quickened his pace, slamming the kitchen door open.

But it was Mark lee so Donghyuck was _hardly_ surprised when he walked into the kitchen and saw Mark, teary-eyed, struggling to fit bread into the toaster.

Donghyuck sighed, his shoulders slumping as he took a step closer, “what's wrong?” 

“I just want some toast,” Mark sniffled out, tears dripping down his face.

Donghyuck breathed out a laugh and walked over to the toaster, gently taking the bread from Mark’s hand and placing them in the toaster.

“You’re a magic man,” Mark gasped, his eyes wide and still filled with unshed tears.

“That was nothing, baby,” Donghyuck grinned as he wrapped his arms around Mark’s waist, pulling him closer.

“My boyfriend is a magic man,” Mark mumbled as he rest his head on Donghyuck’s bare chest and maybe if he listened hard enough he would've heard the way Donghyuck’s heart skipped a beat. 

Though on the outside, Donghyuck only rolled his eyes and pulled away, hooking his finger under Mark’s chin, dragging him in for a kiss.

Mark still tasted like cheap beer and he still smelled like weed, but in all honesty, smoking was Mark’s only vice. He was perfect in every single way and though the whole smoking thing got a little annoying, Donghyuck hardly found it bothersome when he got to smoke with Mark, white smoke curling out from their connected lips. 

So, Donghyuck decided that Mark smoking wasn't the problem, the problem was the fucked school system was draining his poor _poor_ boyfriend.

But maybe Donghyuck was a bit biased. Just maybe.

Donghyuck knew that being with him made Mark feel so much better so he let the older press him against the counter, kissing his breath away as Donghyuck tightly gripped his waist. And with the taste of Donghyuck's  _cursed_ cherry chapstick, Mark could feel the tension seeping out from his head.

Maybe it’s a bit cheesy to say, but Donghyuck was his own personal high, and he would never get sick of it. He never wanted to stop holding Donghyuck, stop being around him or stop kissing him.

But they were forced to stop when the toast caught fire from being in the toaster for too long. 

And as the fire alarm went off and they were forced to evacuate, Mark reached down and intertwined their fingers. Just the warm touch of Donghyuck’s hand in his was enough to calm Mark’s infinite stresses.

Basically, Donghyuck>>>>drugs

**Author's Note:**

> the toast part is literally based off of personal experience oops  
> hehe i hope you liked it :)
> 
> lmk what you thought in the comments!!  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/jamjaems)  
> [twt](https://twitter.com/qianjuns)  
> 


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